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Friday 2 February 2024

Programming language theology

What does the Bible have to say about different programming languages?

  • Perl (Matthew 13:45-46)
  • Haskell (we are called to a life of purity)
  • Ocaml (it’s easier for OCaml to pass through the eye of a needle and all that, Matthew 19:24)
  • Forth It's part of the great commission in Mark 16:15)
  • Go Again, it's part of the great commission, but also Isaiah 18:2 seems to promote message passing between Golang and Swift)
  • Java (covered in He-brews)
  • Lazarus (which is cheating a bit, because it’s a framework for FreePascal, but John 11 covers it in some detail)
  • SQL isn't specifically mentioned, but Proverbs 2:3-5 seems to describe it
  • C/C++/C# in Genesis 1;10 God gathered the waters together and called them the seas. But in Revelation 21:1 it says that there will be no more C, so presumably C++ and C# take over in a new heaven and new earth.
  • Ada according to Genesis 36:4 Eliphas was bored by Ada, which does indeed speak holy truth about programming in Ada
  • Python This is one of those difficult topics. My best interpretation of John 3:14 says that Jesus should be lifted up like a snake was. I guess that means we should kill Python and see if it comes back to life: presumably we did that with the Python 2 -> 3 transition.
  • Swift I'm unsure of what the Bible says about this generally. Isaiah 5:26 applies to programmers at the ends of the earth, and Romans 3:15 presumably refers to programming with one's feet so hard that they bleed.
  • Rust It seems we should avoid Rust based on Matthew 6:19-20.

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